What have I done to myself...?

I thought that being home would motivate me to get episodes done faster, but that isn't going according to plan. Its already Febuary and the countdown is halfway finished. The Hannibal episode and the episode after aren't done yet either. Though the Hannibal episode is half way done, but there has been issues with that I will discuss later in this article. I want to do a valentines day episode, since for the Halloween one I dropped everything so I can work on that. But am I really pushing myself too hard?

I'm trying to think in a more realistic sense when it comes to reviewing this year. I'll get the valentines day episode done once the countdown is done. The Hannibal episode and the episode after may come before the valentines speacil/same time as the countdown or after the valentines day episode. So here is my goal for 2017 when it comes to reviewing standards. There will NOT be an anniversery speacil for 2017 due to how slow things are right now. I mean yes, that isn't until six monthes away but this Hannibal episode should of been done in August or September and its already February!!! Each CF season will have 23-25 episodes, so chances are I'm merging season 4 until 2018.

So whats up with the Hannibal episode? I had to film this episode twice becuase I wasn't happy with the script after the first filming. It was very lazy and unprofessional, and I decided to revise it. The first filming was in October or November, the rerecording wasn't until the week I was moving out of VT. Like there was nothing on the set (which was perfect for the theme of the episode) since everything was packed up. I didn't get to actually editing until January becuase of my depression, and even still I kept putting that off becuase I still wasn't happy with the script or how the footage turned out. The two major problems with the episode at this point of time is:
1) When I changed the script, I didn't really fully look at everything and there is one part where I'm talking about one subject....but then cut to another without any of the subjects corrilating with one another. I didn't realize this until two days ago.
2) I was in a rush when it came to the filming being done becuase it had to be filmed in my VT location, no acceptions. Some of it looks normal...in some other shots, however, half my head gets cut out.

So I had two options on what was I going to do; scrap the episode entirely, leaving a massive plot hole within my storyline and causing me as a video editor eternal shame or badly lip sync everything. Though there are episodes where I somehow worked at the same pace as footage, but thats normally of movie or video footage not made by me. (i.e: the dance scene in Salo or the Tyra rant in Madeline) Those turned out well. But when it comes to lip movements....it can be trickier.

As for season 4 of ChibiFangirl as a whole, the Helloween Hell segment is gonna change as well. The original plan was for every movie review, there would be a HH episode afterwards. Not in season 4's case, becuase of timing. Once I get those five episodes done (the second half of the countdown, Hannibal TV series, the episode after, and the valentines episode) there will be another HH segment. Though I can't speak for afterwards. The mindset I have now is if I feel the need to talk about a movie or show, that will be a higher priority since music reviews require a lot more concentration.

So why is the countdown taking so long?  Part three's skeleton (as in not yet tinkered footage on the FCP timeline) is 35 minutes in and I have five more songs to talk about and then I can get to heavy duty editing. And part four's filming is halfway done. I just gotta do the actual review part.  I've been procrastinating again. Mostly becuase of depressive reasonings again. Not too long ago I had another idenity crisis on wether or not I should keep going with this, even though this is my only outlet of happiness at this point. All week last week I spent looking to find Pathfinder games and applying to them, not actually playing them yet, so I haven't even accomplished anything other than some character building for another hobby. And if you never played Pathfinder or an online forum/skype version, its like applying for colleges becuase its so difficult to get into one. Most people I know have actual physical groups to play with, so character building may go quicker, but online, it can be time consuming and energy consuming. Aside from that I've listened to some podcasts and watched some dank documentaries, but haven't really been productive in a medium I actually enjoy doing. And I didn't realize my low productivity until my room started becoming more cramped and after watching a few episodes of Phelous.

I also realized I haven't been watching anything actively in a while. After I finished House, I guess you can say I was following RWBY, but it wasn't a show I'd binge on, since the only things i binge are podcasts that nobody has heard of or documentries. And actually sitting back and watching something can be really relaxing, compared to a podcast where its only an audio medium. (and the documentries I listen to as if they were podcasts becuase they can be graphic. If its subtitled though, thats when I have to put more effort in and I'll hide behind Axo if things get too scary) I marked some shows on netflix I'd like to watch and for some reason I have this burning desire to watch anime I missed out on from my era, starting with Elfen Lied. I don't know why that name in particular, but thats where I'm starting.

Not really sure how to conclude this journal entry, so uh.....bye?